Look Up From Your Shoes, And See The World...

Sorry I haven't updated for awhiel. Things have been super hecktic for me.

So, on the advise of several friends (including one very lovely blogger) I decided to call Carrie on Monday night. I was nervous, as I'd never really called a girl like that, but I figured, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose. Except maybe some self esteem, but it's not like a little less will make much of a difference, since there's so little there to begin with. :) So I called her up, and we talked for about an hour! It was great. She's really, really funny, and wants to see some of my paintings. Which sucks, because I know once she sees them, it's over. But she invited me to come see her play another show on Friday, at some small cafe near the U of M campus (just off of Riverside). I don't remember what it's called, but she gave me rally good directions. Anyway, after that, we're just going to hang out. I'm excited, and terrified at the same time. I guess that's how things like this go. Wish me luck everyone.

The reason I didn't get to write anything yesterday, was at work, our internet went down, so I spent the first half of the day taking phone calls from customers explaining the system was down, but would hopefully be up soon, and then once it came up, I had to stay late and manually reenter all the orders into our system. I was here until 11:30 last night, and by the time I got home, I was so burned out, I pretty much just went strait to bed (after eating a tastey dinner of Totino's Frozen Pizza and Funyons. Nutricious!)

Then, last night, I had another series of weird dreams (although I was finally able to sleep. It's been awhile!) I had three really bizarre ones that I can remember really well.

Dream #1

I was walking on a path through a forest. It was dark, probably night, as I could see a huge moon cutting through the leaves, which left jagged shadows all over the ground. As I continued to walk, I noticed the shadows on the ground began to bend and twist, and as I looked up, the trees were moving, almost like arms and hands, and they trees were swaying slightly, and moaning. It was really freaky, so I started to run, only instead of being able to run really fast, I was running in slow motion, and the harder I tried to run, the slower I was going. The trees began to scream, and the moonlight must have gotten brighter, because I could see the trees more clearly, and they had faces, and the faces were bleeding from their mouths, and eyes, and noses, and the wood was warping, almost as if they were trying to escape, and I knew if I didn't get out of there, I would become trapped like they were.

Dream #2

I "woke up" in my room. I sat up in bed, panting, as I'd just had the dream about the weird trees. As I sat in bed, I heard footsteps coming form my living room. They were walking really slowly, and it was causing the floorboards to creaking. I have hardwood floors, so it would be hard to walk without making a ton of noise. I still didn't really know this was a dream, and I thought that someone had broken into my house. I got out of bed, and looked around my room for some type of weapon. There really wasn't anything, but I got an umbrela from my closet, and figured I could use it as a crude club. As I started to move toward the door, I realized I was completely naked. But then, there was so much adrenaline running through my system, I didn't really care. I was hoping that maybe I could just scare the burglar away. I slowly, and as quietly as possible, opened my door. It of course, made a loud noise as I slowly pushed it open, and the footsteps in the living room stopped. I finally worked up the courage to say "Hello? Is someone out there?", but there was no answer. I shouted again "Listen, if someone's out there, you better just get out, I've called the cops". Again, there was no movement, and no sound. After a couple of minutes, I made my way out of my room, while the floor creaked and groaned under my weight. As I apporached the living room, I noticed there was a strange glow. I peeked around the corner, and saw something I'd never seen before. There was a light, kind of pale blue in color, vague in the shape of a person, standing in the middle of my floor, facing perpendiclar to me. It had a book in it's hands, and appeared to be reading. I watched it for a moment. I didn't know if it was the scariest thing I'd ever seen, or one of the prettiest. I guess it was kind of both. Anyway, I took another step into the room, and it turned and stared at me. I'll never forget that face. It was so terrifying, just thinking about it makes the hair on my arms stand up. It had a long, dried up face, like a really old person would have, but where the eyes should have been, there were these two black sunken holes. It looked angrily at me, and we stood there, frozen in time for a moment, before it suddenly simply vanished. The book it had been reading fell to the floor. I walked over slowly, and picked up the book, being very cautious. Needless to say, my hands were shaking almost uncontrolably, as I reached out to grab it, and I couldn't help but keep glancing over my shoulder, expecting any moment for the light thingy to reappear. It never did though. The book it had been reading was the one I found a week or so back in the street, the one with no cover. So weird. So in my dream, I simply went back to bed, and was unable to sleep, since my heart was still pounding.

Dream #3

The last dream I had was another Dad dream. These are still fairly frequent. This one was a little different than they ususally are though. In my dream, I was standing on top of the empire state building, and my dad was there, standing on the edge, with his arms outstretched. I ran over to him, as he turned to face the impossibly high drop right in front of him. I yelled out "Dad, you don't have to do that! You don't have to jump!" He turned and looked over his shoulder at me, smiled slightly, and with a twinkle in his eye said "For you and your mother, yes I do" and took the step off the building. I screamed and ran to the edge, and watched his body get smaller and smaller as it sped toward the ground. I looked away just before he hit the ground. It was a very viseral and intense dream. I just sat with my knees curled up under my chin, and cried for hours, trying to figure ot why he felt lik ehe had to die for my Mom and I. When I woke up, my face was wet. I guess I'd been crying in my sleep. I didn't even know that was possible.

I had a couple more dreams, more absurd of course (in one, Angelina Jolie, Johny Depp, and myself were spies for the CIA, trying to break into the Handisnack corporate headquarters), but I don't really remember the details. Dreams are so weird. I wonder what the dreams I had meant, and why is it we remember certian dreams more vividly than others? I still have that book (the one with no covers from my dream) sitting on my big black bookcase. I should read it sometime, to see what book it is. It's probably some crappy romance novel, where someone gets "taken roughly in the barn". :)

I get to leave work a little early today, since I put in such a long day yesterday. I'm looking forward to a little relaxation after such a stressful day (and night!). Plus Erik got on my case for not playing some WoW the last couple of nights, and I'm falling behind. Well, until later friends!