Nervous About The Weekend...

Hello Kiddies!!!

Well, I'm a little bit nervous about this weekend. Carrie and I have been spending a ton of time together, and it's great, and I'm really enjoying myself. But last night she said her parent's own a cabin in northern minnesota, and that we should go there for the weekend. Naturally, I accepted, but now, I'm really kind of nervous abuot it. I mean, she's a great girl, but everything seems to be happening so fast. I hadn't even really kissed a girl before Carrie, and now, well, we've done more than simply kissed (not sex), and I'm worried that if I go to her cabin this weekend, we'll end up being physical, and I don't know if we're ready for that kind of thing this early in the game. Maybe I'm being a wuss, and I'm sure people will make fun of me, but I just don't want to screw things up, and with Carrie's past (the sexual abuse stuff), I just don't want her to rush into something she'll regret. And it's not like I've ever had sex before (laugh it up guys), and I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing as well. But if I try and back out today, I'm sure she'll think it's because I don't like her, or don't want to be with her. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. I really care about her. CRAP!!! What should I do? I know I'll probably end up going with her, just because, well, we're leaving when she get's off of work tonight at 7, and that's only six hours away! It's too late to back out now. Let's just hope for the best. I'm sure things will work themselves out.

Other than that, things have been going great!!! Work is, well, work. Which is to say, tolerable. I had some more strange dreams last night. Man, this Blog seems to be turning into a record of my dreams! Oh well, I hope some people find them interesting.

Dream #1

I'm walking in a field, full of long yellow grass that seems to move like water. It comes up about to my waist, and as I'm walking, I'm holding my hands out, and letting the grass tickle the palms of my hands. As I'm walkinmg, ejoying the sun on my face, I notice that the grass appears to be getting longer. That, or I'm starting to sink, I'm not really sure, but the grass gets lopnger and longer and longer, and pretty soon I'm entirely buried in the grass, and can't escape. The grass starts wrapping itself around my hands and legs, and just when I'm afraid I can't take the claustrophobia anymore, I woke up. I must have been thrashing about really hard from that dream, because this morning I had a huge bruise on one of my shoulders! I must have hit myself, or fallen out of bed, or something. I hope I don't sleep walk! That would be emberassing (since I usually sleep in the buff!) :)

Dream #2

This dream is less dramatic, but certainly more creepy. Lately I've been having a lot of dreams that take place in my apartment (read the previous posts for more on those) but this dream, I "woke up" in the middle of the night, because there was a strange buzzing noise. As I'm lying in bed, I notice that my skin feels like it's burning, and so I throw back the covers to see whats wrong, and there are thousands and thousands of house flies all over my skin. As soon as I start to scream (I think a natural reaction to that sort of thing) the flies start flying everywhere in my room, in my ears, my nose, my mouth, my eyes, I can hardly see a thing, it's almost like they're attacking me, and I stumbled out of my room, flailing about blindly, slamming into the wall outside my bedroom. Thinking quickly (for once!) I ran into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. As soon as I turned the water on, the flies dispursed. It took me some time to work up the courage to leave the shower, and go back to bed, but the flies were no where to be seen, and that's where the dream ended.

Today, while I was on my lunch break, I finally started reading that weird book I found in the street. I finished Owen Meaney awhile back (did I mention that?) and instead of starting on my next book (A Brave New World) I decided to give this one a try. It doesn'tmake a whole lot of sense so far (I think it was missing a bunch of the beginning of the book), and I haven't read a whole lot, but once I start to figure out what it's actually about, I'll post some of it, so people can hlp me figure out what this book is. :)

Well, wish me luck this weekend. If there is internet at Carrie's cabin, I'll try to update everyone on what's going on in the world of JD, but if not, I'll try to make an update on Sunday, or Monday at the very latest. I hope you all have a great weekend!!!