It's Official, Girls Are The WORST!!!

If my glum post title didn't tip you off, well, things didn't go so well with Carrie. We met at 7:00 at the Red Lobster. Even though I was five minutes early, she was already there waiting for me (a good sign, I thought at the time). We sat down, ordered our food (she got some snow crab, I got some crab stuffed halibut) and then we sat in awkward silence for awhile. I would ask her a question, she would give a short answer, and then there would be complete silence. It was killing me. How could it have been so wonderful between the two of us only a few weeks ago, and then all of a sudden niether of us know what to say to the other?

Finally, after our food arrived, and we'd both eaten a bit, making awkward small talk the whole time, I got up the courage to ask her "the question".

So what's going on between us right now?

She shurgged, and said "I don't know". She was staring at her plate, playing with some food, and I was watching her every move, wondering if this was going to be the last time I'd ever get to see her. Needless to say, it sucked. Finally she looked up at me, sighed, and launched into a long speech (it sounded really rehearsed) about how she didn't feel comfortable around me anymore, about how she felt like things had moved to quickly between us, how we'd gotten physical too soon, and how she just wasn't ready for this kind of a "thing". I was speechless. I mean, it wasn't like I'd pushed her uinto anything! Quite the opposite, I was hesitant to do anything with her, because I understood her past, and it was her who had pressured me into doing things. I couldn't tell if I was more angry, depressed, or hurt by her comments. I said "You know, I still have very strong feelings for you. I miss you every day, and I wish you felt that way about me too." She paused, looking at her food, and then said "But I don't." My heart fellt like it fell completely out of my body and shattered into a million pieces. So that was that. She looked up at me, and said "I'm sorry JD. I just thought you should know, in person, that this, you and me, won't work out". Then she got up, and walked out of my life for the last time. I still feel numb from the whole experience. I don't know what to think anymore. I mean, I guess it shouldn't suprise me. I know I'm not a very good looking guy, and I'm certainly as nerdy as they come. I guess I was probably just in denial, thinking that i hever had a chance with any girl, much less one like Carrie. Who am I kidding, I should just do the entire female species a favor and become gay. :) Well, I'm off to cry myself to sleep. Hope you're all having a more pleasant evening than I am. :)